Levelling the Playing Field

It is often said there are not enough women in naturism, and it is the men shouting the loudest about it. That in itself can be off-putting to some. In an already niche community gender, age, race shouldn’t really matter and to seasoned naturists it’s often irrelevant, but in order to drive the campaign into introducing more women into naturism, we all need to consider some of the barriers women may face. Forum posts and threads on social media about it are counterproductive as they seem to just contain men bemoaning the lack of women in naturism. A recent forum post caught my eye: it was referring to the increase in women only and family only events and questioned whether having separate events would encourage exclusivity thereby having naturism become more divisive.

Whilst there is nothing wrong with this post in itself, it was clearly written by a man who has been a naturist for some 40 years. It’s clear that he has forgotten what it’s like to be a new naturist and definitely cannot relate to what it can be like for a woman. Fortunately, I AM a woman and only three years into naturism, so I can relate. I haven’t forgotten what it’s like as a textile woman looking into the world of naturism. I remember only too well what I thought naturism was. Before meeting Simon, I hadn’t given naturism much thought but like in the wider society, naturism would conjure up all sorts of images in my head. I imagined a load of naked people all getting together and I couldn’t understand why that would be if not for sex? I imagined all these beautiful naked bodies prancing around assuming they wanted to be looked at. If not, why else would they want to be naked in front of strangers? Even when Simon told me early into our relationship that he liked to live a clothing optional lifestyle, I gave him a bombastic side eye glance with the word ‘weirdo’ dancing around my mind. Simon and I had many ‘robust’ conversations around the subject and although he assured me there was nothing sexual about naturism I just couldn’t shake the images. Why, then, if not for sex? Was it a disguised opportunity to check out all these beautiful naked women, for men to get together to objectify women?

Granted, my introduction to sex, nudity and men was not a positive one. Enduring a sexual assault at the tender age of 14 was to shape my views for years to come. My young adult life consisted of me making every attempt not to stand out in a sexual way, from wearing big baggy clothes to even going through a ‘goth’ phase and shaving my head. Anything to avoid attention from men. All too soon, the societal pressures to look a certain way took their hold and yo-yo dieting began. The goth look was getting the wrong attention. I wanted to be like all the other young women, great body, great hair, and so began a 20 year battle with myself. Little did I know that naturism was to become the key to ending that internal war.

I married my first husband at 30. He was muslim and it was within his culture for women to cover up, ‘Yes!’ I thought. I can go back to baggy clothes and it wouldn’t matter. By 31 I was pregnant with my daughter and had a valid reason to be ‘fat’ Then, of course, came the stretch marks, wobbles and scars. My marriage ended soon after she was born and I settled into a habit of finishing off my daughter’s meals as well as my own, and eating junk food whilst watching TV when my daughter slept. The weight gradually piled on. By the time I married Simon at the age of 42, I was a whopping 15 stone. I could barely tie my own shoelaces and I felt awful. Something had to change, I joined a boxing class a few months before the global pandemic and began to shed some weight. Then lockdown happened and I was forced to be home for 6 weeks solid. I finally had the time to make good, healthy food. I soon lost 4 stones in weight and Simon bought me a bikini to celebrate. This was a big deal for me. I hadn’t worn a bikini since my early 20’s for fear of ridicule or objectification. I donned the bikini and Simon took a photo. To my surprise, I wasn’t horrified. In fact, I was rather proud of myself. This was a massive boost for my confidence.

Between lockdowns, Simon got involved with a ‘normalising nudity’ project at a naturist resort and asked if I would attend as the clothed model. I wasn’t happy about it but being the supportive wife I agreed to go. Regular readers will know that this was to be the turning point into naturism for me. There was no way I would have agreed to go to a naturist resort had there not been a secondary reason to do so, in this case, a photoshoot. In fact, the more Simon talked about naturism the more resistant I became. He had to learn to dial down the dialect and pick his moments wisely, hence I agreed to take part.

It was this moment that I had learned how wrong my assumptions regarding naturism were. My story is just one example of some of the barriers I had to overcome to just even set foot in a naturist resort. There are so many reasons why women are reluctant to try naturism and it’s all very well for seasoned naturists to say that their fears are unfounded. That nobody objectifies you, all bodies are accepted and not judged and there is no sexual element. We all know that now. We all know that gender, race, age are irrelevant because we are naturists, but spare a thought for those that are new. Please try to remember how YOU felt about naturism before trying it. Naturism is inclusive as it should be, but I see nothing wrong in having single sex or family only events as a gateway into the bigger picture. If there were more women only events where nudity is secondary, who knows, I may have been brave enough sooner.

Women ARE present in naturism and it’s unjust for men to keep saying that there's not enough women. It’s always men at naturist clubs noticing if a female has a sarong or bikini bottoms on. Rather than calling it out, why not consider why? There could be so many reasons, all of which are valid and correct.

Endless threads on social media regarding poor representation of women in naturism does not help this campaign. Just because a woman doesn’t want to be photographed at an event does not mean that she is not present. Naturism means different things to different people and at naturist clubs and organised events you will find plenty of women. Women in naturism already know the benefits of social nudity and are comfortable in the skin they’re in but please remember, we all have our reasons, every journey is different, what enables one person to discover naturism may not work for another, so providing a variety of different events to suit different people can only be a good thing and is NOT exclusive. So men, please think, before bemoaning a lack of women in naturism and offer your support to those of us that are here and present before you scare us off too and a huge thank you to those that already do.